Last night I hung out with my good friend and we went to Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles. I had been there before a long time ago and forgot how good it is! We stayed there like 2 hours just talking and eating so it was fun. I scared off the guy I like because my stupid ass was drinking and sent a text saying I wouldn't mind having his baby. Why the fuck did I say that??? I'm so stupid.. Now he won't even text me and I miss him a lot...... It's my own fault.....

I'm exhausted!!! I worked the 8 hours today. I didn't want to wake up at all this morning because I having such a good sleep because I hung out with him last night for like 3 hours and a half. He pulled up to my driveway around 7pm and we hung out at his place. I hate work so much!! Like I hate it with a passion!!

The one sister I really don't get along with sent me a text saying my mom came to her in a dream. My mom was crying in the dream because was really worried about me and I wasn't taking care of myself. My mom told her she was worried something bad will happen to me. Honestly, I don't know if I should believe it or not. Why wouldn't my mom come to me in a dream instead? Why send the message to the one sister I really don't talk to tell me that? I don't know

So my family decided to send my dog to the pound while I was at work.  He was through so much with me and they took him away from me! Who is going to listen to me while I'm hanging out in the garage drinking? who is going to follow me everywhere in the backyard?? I swear everything I love is taken from me! last night I got a call from that guy from November at 12am. I answered thinking it was important and it turned into a 3 hour conversation with his drunk self. LOL It reminded me how much I enjoy talking to him because he is so funny.

He gave me a ride home a couple weeks ago from work since we got off around the same time. *Sigh* I like him so much! I only sleep well after being with him or when I spend the night with him at his house. I love being in his arms after just cuddling, talking, and watching t.v. Waking up in the morning next to him and he asks me " how did you sleep? " I love when he hugs me. I really wish I was his girlfriend but I know that will never happen..... He makes me smile and I feel happy when I'm with him. I know to him I'm nothing but to me he is someone special and was there for me  since the day before my moms funeral, cheering me up. Now I'm nothing to him ...

I'm not a religious person but I just don't understand somethings.Why does he put people in my lives to make me feel happy and suddenly takes them away from me, why did I start liking him ?? Why did God send him my way ??? I didn't want anyone else in my life!! I didn't ask for him to give me his number! why???? He made me feel so happy and suddenly just like that he stops talking to me! Why  would you do that God????!!! I'm already dealing with enough shit and you suddenly do that!!!! Why would you do that?????????